Well, it's been about 3 months since I made that promise to myself about wearing whatever I wish to, despite the thoughts of other people and it really is not as easy as it seems. I mean, it should be that easy, but there are just so many things that can get in your way!! First of all, I'm sixteen and I live in Jamaica, which really is not as liberal and no where NEAR as creative as some of the most conservative towns in the USA, I'm sure (okay I'm exaggerating) so there are a lot of things that come into that category.
First chapter of The Arduous Task of Style Choices: Overbearing Parents. Well my mom really. Lately, I've been finding myself to like a lot of black clothes, with that edgy moto-esque feel, I even have a pair of black Dr. Marten's combat boots on my to-get list, but let's just say that sort of thing really doesn't go by with my mother. Being sixteen in Jamaica means so much less than it seems to anywhere else in the Western world, in fact you might as well be 7. So, my mother who doesn't only think I'm going goth, but also thinks that colour is the best thing for a young lady to wear - supercalifragilisticespialidocious!!! - finds the need to accept/reject most of my outfits, if they have no colour in it. I wasn't even allowed to wear dark nail colours till about last year...
So, that's one obstacle I'm currently trying to conquer - slowly but surely wins the race, Brooke. My dad on the other hand, isn't as ridiculous as my mother, although I can tell he doesn't like the personal style choice that I seem to be adopting, he doesn't care so much, and makes simple jokes if anything.
Second Chapter: Everyone Else Around Me. Maybe not everybody, but possibly just about. This chapter really is too long for it's own good, and quite honestly I get a bit agitated when I think about it, and want to change it, but I don't think it's possible at this moment. So, let me make this short: basically, because of the lack of creativity and open-mindedness of majority of the people in Jamaica - even in my generation - no one accepts other people's sense of style, and either ridicule it openly, or ridicule it behind their back. Oh wait, I forgot, there is also a major lack of sense of style and fashion-awareness, it saddens me more than anything. Not so much for them, but also for myself because sometimes I find it hard to get inspired by Kingston.
Third Chapter: Me. Of course I can't give everyone else credit for my novel, and not revert to myself... I must admit that sometimes I'm a really conscious person, and don't feel like being judged by others, or looked at in some cases, so at times I'm unwilling to dress the way I really want to. I don't go very many places either (I do IB and just don't really get invited anywhere). Besides that I really need a new wardrobe in the worst way!
Please look out for my novel all of you :-). And hope that I get over these horrid obstacles, I really need to - I have to!
Brooke
I just randomly ran into your blog. I am a fellow Jamaican now living abroad...I was 16 living in JA a long time ago but this blog entry sounds like something I might have written back then. I recall having the same feelings you describe. Sixteen is one of many years to come In your life. One day you will look back and smile. I must say it is so fantastic that you sound like such an independent thinker. As you get older you will become more confident in your perspective. Independent thinker and confident too? There'll be no stopping you!
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you so much! I do like to think I'm an independent thinker, but like everyone else something stops you every now and then! And I really hope that there's no stopping me, thank you for your kind words!
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