Tuesday, October 23, 2012

IN CASE OF A NATURAL DISASTER

While a storm brews off the shores of our Caribbean isle, our parents are preparing for the full effects of category one Hurricane Sandy (the squirrel). They buy canned goods and batteries, store water, etc etc., to prevent unreservedly primitive living. Truth is, while the radio repeats the precautions to be made in the case of a hurricane every hour on the hour, since time immemorial, like the precautions are ever going to change - our poor teenage souls are left to fend for ourselves in the realm of disaster-living; searching, and often not finding a means of entertainment to live through the disaster. While it is first and foremostly important to remain as safe as possible during a storm - I figure that if any of you are anything at all like me, you'd like to have some closure when it comes to what you can do for yourself before and after a hurricane.

Ok, poetics aside, here's what you should do in the case of a hurricane:

1. DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Get it done the day school lets you off early until further notice. I'm sure we've all been in situations where we overestimate pending tropical storms and hurricanes, only to realize they're a total bust and we do have school the next day..... Awkward..... Don't let the homework pile up, otherwise you'll cry the night before with a major cup of coffee in your hand and papers scattered across the floor - not exactly 'très chic'

2. TAKE A REALLY LONG BATH

And when I say long, I mean really long. I mean I normally take half-hour in the mornings without washing my hair. So, roughly approximating, I'd say spend an hour and a half or two, washing your hair, shaving, pampering etc. You never know what type of radioactive, contaminated, debris-ridden water Sandy might leave us with after she's shat all over us. Even with a tank, you might be bathing out of a bucket for the next few days. Take heed my friends, take heed.


3. MUSIC, MOVIES, BOOKS, THE LIKE

We all have 'Rain' playlists on our iTunes, but how may of us have 'Hurricane' playlists? I'm sure none of you do, because I just thought of it and I don't even have one. When it comes to music, it's all about what you like to listen to of course, but no offense, if you don't even consider the songs I'm about to suggest, you might be basic? I'm sorry that that may be the case my friend, but we all have to learn to live with our afflictions. Anyway here are my ideas of a Hurricane playlist:

Ayla - The Maccabees
Barely Love You Too - Frank + Derol
The Boys - Nicki Minaj Feat. Cassie (I already know what you're thinking, shut up)
Little House - Amanda Seyfried
Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran
Lego House - Ed Sheeran (scratch that, everything by Ed Sheeran)
Red - Taylor Swift (The entire album. Or you could just have everything by her like me - why not)
The Cave - Mumford And Sons
Little Lion Man - Mumford And Sons
I Will Wait - Mumford And Sons
Gossamer - Passion Pit
After The Storm - Mumford And Sons
Boom - Anjulie
Fantasea - Azealia Banks (The mixtape)




For movies, I prefer watching a mix of pathetic teenage/young adult films involving suicide, pathetic emotions, drugs, eating disorders or psychosis (or all the above), along with horrors/thrillers of the late 90's into the 2000's. Why not live what we were too young to appreciate, right? Don't forget all - or just a few - of the Audrey Hepburn movies too!

The Silence Of The Lambs
Sixth Sense
The Others
Funny Face
Dazed and Confused
The Breakfast Club
Thirteen
Pretty Woman
Ten Things I Hate About You
Clueless
Armageddon
Breakfast At TIffany's
Girl, Interrupted
Heathers
Life Size
Forrest Gump
The Parent Trap
Jurassic Park
Toy Story (shut up)
Lion King (3rd time's the charm)
Scream






Books - Read whatever you really want, whether it's pathetic teen love stories, tear jerkers, historical novels, poems, whatever. Just physically and emotionally immerse yourself in something to pass time. While you all read something by Nicholas Sparks (blah), I'll be reading the latest issue of Vogue (and all the others before that because I'm hopeless), The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, Sylvia Plath's entire collection of poems as well as The Bell Jar by her.

Wasn't that fabulous? Ok have fun and keep safe in the hurricane!!!!!

Brooke

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