Another title for this post could be "Watch The Victoria's Secret 2012 Fashion Show." The whole self-induced depression thing goes hand in hand really.
Like the rest of the male/female/LGBT/Western population (do they watch Victoria's Secret fashion shows in Asia?) I watched the Victoria's Secret 2012 Fashion Show and to be quite frank, I don't know what to do with myself. I have literally been anticipating this deliberate deterioration of my self esteem for months, to experience one hour of lingerie, legs for days, and torn emotions. I had to curl up on my silk duvet fluffed with eiderdown for fifteen minutes to collect myself. I cried actually - for several reasons...
I cried tears of joy: 1. Because I was unexplainably proud of the girls I felt like they were my own children 2. Justin Bieber was on the stage 3. Rihanna was on the stage 4. Candice got her own lil solo 5. Candice grabbed Rihanna's ass
Still, I found the tears of jealousy/sadness/depression much more overwhelming. I cried because: 1. Bruno Mars was on the stage 2. Candice did not open the show 3. They did not properly broadcast the aforementioned bum-grabbing 4. I DO NOT HAVE CANDICE SWANEPOEL'S BODY
Yup.... Yup, that's all. I will never be able to thank you enough, Victoria's Secret, for the extreme diet I am about to endure.